To talk with your partner's family, learn the Portuguese of the family table first: greetings, kinship words like sogra (mother-in-law), food talk and a few rescue phrases, all in European Portuguese, then build toward A2 at a pace your evenings can handle. That's the heart of Portuguese for partners of Portuguese speakers, and it's a different goal from acing a grammar quiz. A2 is the level of the Common European Framework that covers simple, routine exchanges on familiar topics, which is exactly what a Sunday lunch is made of. It's also the level Portugal asks for in a nationality application.
You know the scene. A long table in Porto or Ponta Delgada, three conversations running at once, and your partner's aunt asks you something that ends on a rising note while everyone waits. Your partner translates for the first hour, then, fairly, wants to eat the bacalhau. The aim isn't fluency by Christmas. It's answering the aunt yourself.
How many people are marrying into Portuguese-speaking families?
A lot, and the number keeps climbing. If you feel like the only foreigner at the table, you're in good company nationally.
| Figure | What it measures | Source |
|---|---|---|
| 6,006 | Unions registered in Portugal in 2024 between Portuguese citizens and foreigners | Público, May 2025 |
| 51.8% | Share of those 2024 unions where the foreign partner was Brazilian | Público, May 2025 |
| 15% | Share of marriages in Portugal between a Portuguese and a foreign spouse, up 3 points since 2013 | FFMS, July 2024 |
| 72,000+ | Portuguese nationality applications under IRN review based on marriage or stable union (14% of 515,334) | Público, July 2025 |
That last row matters. For many couples, learning Portuguese isn't only about the in-laws. It eventually turns into paperwork too.
Which way of learning Portuguese for partners of Portuguese speakers fits you?
There are four realistic routes, and most people end up mixing two of them. They are your partner, government-run PLA classes, a Pois Pois subscription and a private tutor, and they differ mainly in cost, structure and how well they fit around your evenings.
How do the four options compare?
| Option | Cost | Strong at | Weak at |
|---|---|---|---|
| Your partner as teacher | Time and patience | The family's real words, accent and jokes | Turns dinner into class; native speakers rarely explain grammar |
| PLA classes (government-run) | Free in most cases | Structure, classmates, an official certificate path | Fixed schedules, group pace, availability varies by area |
| Pois Pois subscription | €13/month individual, €25/month family (up to 4) | pt-PT only, A1 to B2, plus CIPLE A2 and Civics tracks | No physical classroom; you still need real people to talk to |
| Private tutor | Set by each tutor, varies widely | Live conversation shaped around you | Costs add up per hour; check they teach European, not Brazilian |
What is PLA?
PLA, short for Português Língua de Acolhimento, runs under Portaria n.º 183/2020 (amended by Portaria n.º 184/2022), as described by Agrupamento de Escolas Santo António. We cover the app, tutor and school comparison in more depth elsewhere on the blog.
When does each option make sense?
Each option suits a different need. Your partner is best for real family Portuguese and accent, PLA suits learners who want a classroom and a certificate, and a structured course helps most when your schedule is the obstacle. Pairing one of those last two with practice at home covers both grammar and the family's own words.
Your partner works best as practice, not as the course
Your partner is your best source of family Portuguese: how their mother says goodbye on the phone, what the cousins call each other. But asking them to explain why it's estou a comer (I'm eating) and not something else, at 9 p.m., after work, tends to end in a shrug. Let them be your conversation partner and your accent coach. Let something else carry the grammar.
PLA fits if you want a classroom and a certificate
If you like a teacher in the room and fixed class times, PLA is worth checking at your local Qualifica center or school cluster. Seats and timetables vary, so ask early.
A structured course fits if your schedule is the problem
This is why Pois Pois exists. A placement test names your gaps and builds a plan. Then you can type a topic like almoço de domingo em casa da minha sogra (Sunday lunch at my mother-in-law's) and get a lesson, dialogue or quiz about exactly that. Sandra, our AI tutor, explains in English, corrects in European Portuguese and marks your homework answer by answer.
What do you say when you meet the family?
Start with the words for the people themselves. You'll hear them constantly:
- sogra (SOH-grah), mother-in-law; sogro (SOH-groo), father-in-law; os sogros, the in-laws
- cunhado / cunhada (koo-NYAH-doo / koo-NYAH-dah), brother-in-law / sister-in-law
- avó (ah-VOH, open "o"), grandmother; avô (ah-VOH, closed "o"), grandfather
That last pair is one accent mark apart, and the family will notice which one you meant.
Then three lines for the doorway. Muito prazer (MWEEN-too prah-ZEHR) means nice to meet you. Estou a aprender português (shtoh ah ah-prehn-DEHR poor-too-GESH) means I'm learning Portuguese, and it buys you enormous goodwill. Add tenham paciência comigo (TEN-yahm pah-see-EN-see-ah koo-MEE-goo), be patient with me, and the table usually slows down for you.
How should you address your in-laws?
Carefully, at first. With older relatives, many people in Portugal avoid você (you) and use a title or name with the verb instead:
- A Dona Fernanda quer mais café? (Would Dona Fernanda like more coffee?)
- O senhor também vem? (Are you coming too, sir?)
It sounds odd in English, talking to someone in the third person. In Portuguese it's simply polite. Ask your partner what their parents prefer; some families switch to first names quickly.
The moment you're waiting for is trata-me por tu (TRAH-tah-meh poor too), call me tu. That's your sogra telling you to use the informal form. When she says it, use it. Going back to a Dona Fernanda after that can feel a little cold.
Which phrases get you through a family lunch?
Lunch is where the real vocabulary lives. These cover most of it:
- Bom apetite (bom ah-peh-TEE-teh), enjoy your meal
- Está delicioso (shtah deh-lee-see-OH-zoo), it's delicious
- Só um bocadinho (soh oom boo-kah-DEE-nyoo), just a little bit
- Já estou satisfeito / satisfeita (zhah shtoh sah-tees-FAY-too / -tah), I'm full
- Posso ajudar? (POH-soo ah-zhoo-DAR), can I help?
- Saúde! (sah-OOD), cheers
A typical exchange:
Sogra: Queres mais arroz? You: Só um bocadinho, obrigada. Está delicioso. Sogra: Fui eu que fiz. You: Então tem de me ensinar.
That last line means "then you'll have to teach me," and it may be the single best sentence for winning over a Portuguese mother-in-law. Expect só um bocadinho to be interpreted generously. You will get a full plate regardless.
When you lose the thread, desculpe, não percebi (sorry, I didn't catch that) is your friend. We've covered repair phrases in more detail in another post.
What could change which option is right for you?
Four situations can shift the choice: a Brazilian side of the family, plans to apply for Portuguese nationality, children learning alongside you, and a strong regional accent at the table. Each one changes either which variety of Portuguese you study, how firmly you need to aim for A2, or how you set up your practice.
Your partner's family is Brazilian
Over half of Portugal's mixed unions in 2024 were with Brazilians, per the Público figures above, and AIMA counts 493,622 Brazilian residents in its Relatório de Migrações e Asilo 2024. If your family life happens mostly in Brazil, a Brazilian Portuguese course is the better fit, and we only teach European Portuguese. If you live in Portugal, pt-PT serves your daily life, and your Brazilian in-laws will understand you fine.
Nationality is on the horizon
Then A2 stops being optional. The CIPLE exam is the most common route, and the pass threshold is 55%, according to Global Citizen Solutions. Rules change, so confirm requirements with AIMA and the IRN before you plan around them.
Kids are part of the household
If your children are learning too, a shared plan with separate levels makes more sense than one account passed around.
The family has a strong regional accent
In-laws from the north, the Azores or Madeira may sound quite different from course audio. Ask your partner to record a few family phrases on your phone and replay them.
What can you practice before the next family lunch?
A quick recap:
- Learn the kinship words, and the avó / avô difference.
- Use titles with older relatives until someone says trata-me por tu.
- Memorize the six table phrases, plus tem de me ensinar.
- Let your partner coach accent, not grammar.
Your challenge: at the next meal, say Estou a aprender português, tenham paciência comigo before anyone switches to English for you. Then compliment one dish by name.
When you'd like structure behind that, Pois Pois has a 7-day free trial (your card isn't charged during the trial, and you cancel in two clicks). Households can use the family plan at €25/month for up to four people, each with their own login and level. The sogra, sadly, is not included in the bundle.